I am sure you all have been consuming recent news about the uptick of extreme right wing groups working to ban LGBTQ+ books from the YA and Children’s section in the public libraries.
So do you know who’s fighting that battle? The busiest group of people I know have taken their precious time to bring LGBTQ+ representation into the libraries: Drag Queens.
People, the Drag Queens don't just Lip-sync – they have a voice too, and they can use it to read stories to children!
That’s right. Check out this brilliant idea: Drag Story Hour.
Now if that doesn’t sound like the best time a kid could have at the library, I don’t know what does!
And let’s be honest – I'm sure it is more engaging than the Children's Librarian reading books to kids. Though they have their own special talents, I cannot guarantee they will have a charismatic performer’s aura or any stage experience.
So it’s disappointing that extremists are trying to ruin all the fun and are protesting against this extraordinary opportunity for children.
For example, NBC News reported right-wing protestors, and counter protestors had it out this December in front of a Queens public library in New York City. Minnesota Public News covered the hateful protests in front of two public libraries in St. Paul. And those nasty Proud Boys tried to ruin it for everybody at the San Lorenzo Library in San Francisco.
They should count their lucky stars Drag Story Hour is in their city. Because if they don’t like that, how would they like Depressed Lesbian Story Hour instead?
Honestly, they probably wouldn’t even notice. At Depressed Lesbian Story Hour, there is no glitter. There is no makeup or sequins. No uppity high heels or pantyhose. You will never see a 7-foot tall person wearing a giant wig.
There will be a very plainly dressed woman, with perhaps a modest barrette in their hair, and a tissue in their hand.
“The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” will be the most uninteresting story in the world. “Harold and the Purple Crayon” will cause children to pray for color blindness. And “101 Elephant Knock-Knock Jokes” will sound like it was written by Albert Camus.
If the Proud Boys don’t like the fun and magical experience the Drag Queens offer, let them watch children suffocate while Depressed Lesbian Story Hour turns the room into a bell jar.
On a healthcare note, it is quite possible that kids with ADHD would grind to a halt and slip into a temporary coma during Depressed Lesbian Story Hour.
Can you imagine doctors telling parents of ADHD children, “The medication has a 50/50 percent chance of working. But you know what we've been having consistent good luck with? That Depressed Lesbian Story Hour over at the library on Saturday mornings in the Children’s room. Parents taking their ADHD kids there report they really come off the ceiling for about 48 minutes. Obviously, it's not a permanent solution, but for some parents, it’s a little break they can give themselves on the weekend.”
I am just kidding, of course. Not all lesbians are depressed. But all drag queens are fabulous.
FYI: Here are more nationwide articles about Drag Queen Story Hour:
A Montana bookstore fought back when they tried to shut down drag story hour.
Drag Queens won't be cowed by haters. The story hour goes on.
Parents concerned after Republicans protest Iowa City library's drag storytime.
Alabama: Drag Queen Story Hour Results in Death Threats Against Animal Shelter.
P.S. You can listen to IN HEAT: A LESBIAN COMEDY PODCAST on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, Stitcher - really, ANYwhere you get your pods!